How I got stuck with a mouthful of sand...

Feb 04, 2022

Is it just me or have we all officially hit the crazy button this winter???

Star dropping in here, post Covid and retrograde madness (palm to face emoji)… I’m slowly coming out of what feels like a long and exhausting dream state AKA my own personal Covid purgatory where my entire world got flipped upside down.

I've been doing a lot of reflecting lately and I have these memories as a kid growing up at the beaches in New England where I would be living my best damn life- present, without a care in the world, running around the beach in pure bliss. In this state of bliss I would run at full speed along the sandy shores feeling like I was invisible to the world around me. Eventually I would get running so fast that my feet couldn’t keep up and I would trip and fall at which point my mouth would inadvertently become a human shovel for copious amounts of sand to enter.

This “fall” would then take me hours to recover from due to the (physical and emotional) clean-up. I remember crying in mom’s arms, mostly angry at how my fun and blissful state had been ripped out from underneath me.

*Not me, but my sentiments exactly!*​

Now this may sound silly, but as a child, this sucked epically when it happened. I remember feeling the devastation of going from happy to being plunged into a state of misery in ways I felt like I couldn’t control.

Fast forward 30 years later, it still sucks epically when that happens.

You’re going along nicely and then out of the blue you are forced to once again become the proverbial human shovel- whether you’re picking up shit or eating sand, the disappointment can still be overwhelming and really painful even after all the years of meditation, therapy, emotional maturity and personal awareness.

So as an adult how do you pick yourself up with a mouthful of sand and move on, hoping to get back to good?

Well in my experience it takes the amount of time from the point in which you are cursing the world and everyone in it to the point in which you are willing to trust and surrender that this was exactly what you needed to get closer to your greatest desires. Now, this can take a couple days or a couple years depending upon your level of resistance- either way the journey is all the same.

So if you’re in the midst of experiencing a challenge or an unexpected barrier to your joy, your abundance or maybe to your health, I encourage you to ask yourself:

Where are you still creating or maintaining resistance?

In my case, I relentlessly obsessed about why this was all happening and I wasn’t going to let myself feel better until I figured it out (this didn’t work btw.). In fact I still haven’t figured it out but for now, I’m ok with it because ultimately I got tired of waving my hope and happiness in front of my face like a goddamn carrot.

We often create resistance that delays our healing process…

  • We distract ourselves with things, substances, people and activities to the point of avoidance, all while suppressing the feelings that need to surface.
  • We make others responsible for our happiness or healing… “Until he/she/they says or does this, I can’t be ok.”
  • We find solace in blame and anger to the point of feeling disempowered and defeated.

Truth is, there’s no right or wrong way to deal with disappointment, it’s just of matter of how much time do you have to offer this process. That’s not to say anything should be rushed or bypassed---anger, sadness and pain can be incredibly healing, motivating and even cathartic but they can also be major roadblocks.

So as we all collectively come out of (some of us will be crawling out on our hands and knees) this turbulent retrograde season, lets take the time to consider... by journaling, in mediation or standing in line at the grocery store:

Where are the places within you and your process you're willing to surrender?
What will it take for you to believe that something even more spectacular is waiting for you on the other side?
And….. what kind of person would you need to be to really own that story?

Comment below, we always love to hear from you and how you’re moving these wild, yet still magical times. We read every message!

 

Believing in your unlimited,

Star

 

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Star Rose Bond, Licensed Clinical Therapist & Ruby Christine Head, Trauma Informed Coach, Cofounders of Life Camp

 

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